Celtic superman. Larry Bird by Bill Simmons

Now ... to vote cards. From the moment I started to walk, my love for the sport was superior to all the rest. Between me and the basketball was born a special bond because my father once bought a season ticket after the mother has vetoed his career biker.
After we won two titles in the first three years, the chain of unfortunate events struck frenchayz and scared off so many fans, that my father and I had the opportunity to purchase a season ticket for the best seats in the best basketball league in the world, and it happened just before the moment one of the five greatest players in history to join. It was not just luck, it's like winning the lottery three times in a row, no, it's like being Justin Timberlake and sleep with Britney Spears, Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson and Kemiron Diaz at the peak of their careers and even add to this list of Lindsay Lohan Angelina Jolie and Katie Holmes.

(I've added here Katie Holmes, because it's not her fault that Tom Cruise turned it into a dummy)

I spent the best years of studying the basketball under the guidance of Professor Beard and soaking up every little nuance. Was infectious to watch a player who is constantly looking for an opportunity to pass, and his partners will soon become as selfless, even those potential black holes, as McHale and Parish. It was like watching a boring group of serious people who spend a lot of time with a guy who has a great sense of humor, like people always raises the level of everyone in the comedy IQ groups.(When I worked on the show Jimmy Kimmel, we called it the regularities of Adam Carolla. Carolla always found amusing approach to everything, in the end, each of us become a little more fun by aligning themselves with it). If you watched the game Bird's long enough, you begin to see the same angles of what he saw, instead of reacting to what  has already happened, you react to the fact that  only begins to happen to you. McHale cuts to the basket, I see him, give him the ball, that's it ... Lay-Up! Byrd if we all gave a collective gut feeling, as if the higher and more sophisticated way of enjoying sports. It was a gift, that's what it was.

That's why you're reading this book. I grew up watching how to play basketball the right. The guys were looking for an open partner. The guys gave extra pass. The guys completely gave himself to the game and out of difficult situations. By the time Bird retired from basketball, I became a Doctor of Science basketball. When your favorite team gets a superb player in your best years - Magic for the "Lakers" EmDzhey for "Bulls" Elway for "Broncos" Gretzky for the "Oilers" - it really is like winning the lottery. Even twenty years later, I can shoot the breeze about the classic moments from Byrd's career as if it happened in my career. For example, when Larry chop 60 points in a game with "Atlanta", while her players to communicate with one another enthusiastic pat on the back.

(I'm not making this up. At least four times in the second half of that game, on 12 March 1985, players of "Atlanta" jumped off the bench with their hands up and threw themselves at each other with cries of delight and disbelief of what seen at the site by Byrd).

Or when he scored a head Dr Jay 42 points in three quarters and brought Julius frustrated to the point that they started choking each other in the center of the site.(It was the most shocking and bizarre sports fight in my life. Occurred seven meters away from me. This I will never forget, it was as if I was watching the fight between Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny!) I have more than a hundred of these memories. The greatest moments in performance and Byrd also became the greatest moments in my life. It's strange how sport affects us in a similar vein. Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I was not wild enough of those magical moments Byrd, when everyone present in the "Garden" suddenly realized  "Now there will be something incredible!" . Immediately arena was laying a wave of grumbling, as if an electrical voltage to a rock concert or a championship fight.

(I would like to insert here "before the bachelor party for two drunk girls start kissing" but changed his mind)

And cost you notice this murmur, as you know - is now something will happen. You probably think that this is a raving lunatic, but anyone who witnessed those matches, he knows  exactly what I'm trying to describe -  Larry takes the game under control .Most of his first two seasons in the 81-m and 82-m between Byrd and the fans, "Boston" there was a noticeable distance, the wall erected by them, through which we could not get through. Painfully shy with the press, much embarrassed lengthy ovation fans, Byrd was like a sort of clumsy scientist, gifted incredible basketball talents, and nothing more. He was the man who did not pay attention to the fact that one of his early nicknames was "Mug from French Lick"  (play on words: the original "The Hick from French Lick". translator's note) . We assumed that it was stupid that he could not express his feelings, his fans did not care and that he wanted to be left alone. That all changed at the end of the seventh game of the Eastern Conference finals, the final act of an incredible comeback against the "Philadelphia." Absolutely certain that it was the greatest series ever played in the playoffs with two teams that hate each other with sixty wins in the "regular season", overloaded roster, two of the greatest striker in the starting five, the outcome of the four games were decided in the last possession, "Celts" have won the last three decisive games with a total difference of only four points.

All this came to a peak in the seventh game in a furious battle in which the referee shoved away their whistles and let the game turn into a kind of mixture of basketball and rugby. Remember the old saying "There is no love between these two?" It said it was about the seventh game. If you're heading to the basket for a lay-apa or dunk, you chopped down. If you tried to jump out from behind the "big" for the selection, you're sure to get an elbow in the ribs. If you are specifically throwing the ring in the traffic, hoping that the opponent whistle foul, good luck with that. It was truly a man's game. There are no more matches. Never. By the time the fans have turned to the Romans watching gladiators fight in the Coliseum. Having the advantage of one point in the last minute of the game, Dawkins went to the basket, was felled McHale and Parish, and threw a "brick" in the fall. Bird snatched selection, out of the mess of bodies (including three lying on the floor, as if in the final scene of "Rollerball") and pulled the basket, stopped a three-second zone and throw a five-meter literally smashed the roof of the arena. "Philadelphia" demanded a time-out, and Larry went to the stands - hands still raised up, having dissolved into shouts of fans - and finally, he pulled his fist in triumph. Byrd never acknowledged the presence of fans, it was the first sign of his emotions. He finally gave us something. We literally went crazy and screaming throughout the whole time-out, blocking, organ music and bringing himself hoarse by the time the players returned to the floor.

(One of the many benefits of the old arena, "Garden" has awarded its players a standing ovation during the entire timeout. This was the highest level of praise, something in the style of "you show a decent game, now it's our turn to thank you." Now fans too busy staring eyes in the "Camera for kisses" or watching Chiropractic). When the "Celts" won the game after a missed "Philadelphia" Slay-up and all the arena rushed to the floor, Byrd remained standing in the middle of the court, bouncing like a schoolgirl and clutching his head with happiness as fans surrounded him. Of all the victories in the era of Byrd, this was the only victory  is not in the NBA Finals, after which fans of "Celts" go around "Gardena" for several hours after the game, exchanging pats on the back and hands, shouting  "Fili sucks" . We would like to Byrd has become for us the following Russell, the next Orr or Havlicek. At no time is the first time it seemed that it reaches that level.

Everything that followed was not a surprise to us: the first championship Byrd in '81, his first title of MVP in '84, he kicked ass and Bernard "Nix" in the seventh game of the Eastern Conference semifinals, and incredibly difficult to win over the "Lakers" in Finale 84, which included the classic game of Larry, the fifth game of the series, when it was 36 degrees outside, and inside the arena, where there was no air-conditioning system was under 150 degree heat. Fans in the stands fainted. Well-dressed housewife wiped his sweaty brow with makeup. Thick Irish guys poured their green t-shirts afterwards. Even the players are exhausted "Lakers" could not wait to get back in the hot California, during a time-out and Karim Worthy of inhaled oxygen masks. Of course, Byrd felt in such circumstances, like a fish in water, ending the game with 34 points and 17 rebounds, while his rabid minions were rooting for him from the stands.When Byrd finished off them in the fourth quarter, and "Lakers" took time out M.L.Karr began fanning Larry towel, but he angrily shoved partner, if Carr spoiled for him winning this time. Imagine if your machine with seventeen people inside broke down in Death Valley at a temperature of 43 degrees. It was so hot in the "Garden" in the evening, but we did not care. All that mattered was that Byrd was a god for us, the players, "Lakers" suffered as a girl, and we were a part of that action, although sweating like hell. It was a time when Bird and "Garden" were like Lennon and McCartney. You can imagine the Byrd playing in the modern "TD Banknorth Garden", when, during a time-out from the speakers shed dance music, and a crowd of fans throwing free t-shirts? I can not. When Byrd era reached its peak in 1986, it was the perfect marriage of regular fans and the right team that won 67 games in the "regular season" and 50 of the 51 home games (including playoff games). That season ended the moment when Byrd left the parquet "Garden" after the sixth game Finals, destroying the "Rockets" triple-double, his shirt was wet with sweat, and the fans in wild delight screaming around. It was perfect. All of that season was perfect. It was good that my father did not buy that damn bike!

There was only one question: how much more memorable seasons will be able to squeeze out a Bird? At its peak in the 86th and 87th he reached a new level in the trash Talking.(My favorite story: before the game with the "Indiana" on the eve of Christmas Personu Larry told Chuck that he has a present for Christmas for Chuck. During the game, Larry scored a three-pointer, being next to the bench, "Peyserz" Personu turned and said, "With the fucking Merry Christmas! ") In the same year, Larry started fooling around during games (including one game in Portland, when he decided to make all the throws with his left hand only), as if he was bored and wanted to challenge myself. Everyone knows the famous story of how Byrd went into the locker room before the first-ever three-point contest and informed the participants that they are all fighting for second place. Or, as he once pointed to Xavier McDaniels of "Seattle" on the point on the floor, said that it will throw away the winning shot, and made ​​good on his promise. On the basis of these multiple stories to create a documentary. And while winning throws and funny stories accumulated in the minds of fans, Byrd climbed Mount Rushmore to Orr, and Russell Williams. We thought that Byrd is not impossible that he was a superhero. When declared before each game starting five, should have the last name Byrd and was accompanied by an unwritten rule - every fan in the stands at the words "Small forward from Indiana State ..." was greeting screaming at the top of their lungs. We are not just rooting for Larry, we idolized him.

When Lenny Bayas died of an overdose two days after the 86 draft pick, Byrd lost his young partner, who would extend his career, would have shouldered a burden on a set of points and would reduce the number of minutes of playing Larry. The body has betrayed Byrd, tired of the constant fouls and risky dives for dead balls. Gone down to earth maimed and injured his back legs knocked off course by a wave of black athletic forwards, cover the league, Byrd barely dragged his body across the floor. He played solid muscle memory and adrenaline.

(What a pity that Beard at its peak ran into the greatest defensive forward, Scotty Pippenom. By the time Scotty has matured, Byrd has left the league. Loss for any true basketball fan)

During his last two seasons in '91 and '92 he missed three or four games a week, spending the night in a hospital in plaster to give your back a rest, and returned to the floor, as if nothing had happened. And he added a couple of memorable games for your resume to ESPN Classic. How, for example, the famous fifth game against the "Indians" when he hit his head on the parquet floor, returned to the game in the style of Willis Reed and held the "Celts" in the next round. Or his 49 points in a game against the "Blazers", which was broadcast on national television, and during which fans chanted  "Lar-ri, Lar-ri!" moments before he made ​​the score at the end of normal time three-point shot. It was like a Bird karaoke. All this came to a peak in the home game against playoff-91 "Pistons" when Byrd did not go throwing, and the bird flew into the arena  (play on words: «bird» - «Bird" in English. Translator's Note) , which broke the game , sitting on the floor in the center of the site. Fans have understood the significance of the moment, and once again began to chant  "Lar-ri, Lar-ri» . First time in the series, our injured hero to life. He began to hammer throws, and the "Celts" have achieved an important victory. And when the fans left the arena happy, my father asked me in shock "It really happened?"

This is what really happened.

When Bird retired in '92, it was for a worthy cause, his body could no longer endure the NBA game schedule. Unlike the Magic, he never came back and stooped to the level of veterans' matches or matches celebrities Vsezvezdnyh during weekends. Unlike Jordan, he would never play in a team mediocre passing its peak. He left and did not return. "Celtics" did not come to life. Although it's not even the whole truth. Bayas died, Bird retired, and those "Celtics" are gone and turned into something else. Then Reggie Lewis died, McHale retired, "Garden" set for demolition, we lost the lottery named Tim Duncan, Rick Pittini all messed up, then Chris Wallace blew it, then took over the same Danny Ainge, and somewhere in the course of these events "Celtics" ceased to be "Celtics." Three times since leaving Byrd out of the game my father wanted me to give up my season ticket, which went up sharply, but could not. After the "Celtics" lost 61 games in sezone-2006/2007, but still could not get Dyurent or Auden, my father received a bill for the tickets, $ 175 per game. Yes, the same price at which he bought his first season ticket in 1974. Anyone would understand my father, if he refused subscription after such a shameful season, for a whole week, he was very close to it, but ultimately failed to do so. If he refused the subscription sezona-2007/2008 and would watch on television as the "Celts" have turned everything upside down, he would never have forgiven myself. Therefore the father renewed subscription and the fifteenth consecutive year, hoping that one successful event will bring us back to the top, whether it's a good exchange, the draft of the peak or the new superhero abilities Brian Scalabrini, if it will be put into a nuclear reactor.

My father was hoping for another game similar to the famous duel and Dominique Byrd.

(The seventh game of the Eastern Conference semifinals-88: Dominique scored 47 points, but Byrd scored 20 in the fourth quarter, including a segment, when they scored five goals each row and earned "You watch how going Greatness" from Brant Myusbergera). After such a masterpiece of sports - in fact, it was an experience of a lifetime - we were too on edge, in order to go directly home after the game, so we found an ice cream parlor «Bailey's» Uellesli in the town and ordered two desserts there. I think we were silent for twenty minutes. Just eat ice cream and shake their heads in disbelief. But what can be said in such a situation? How can I put it into words? We were exhausted and we were happy.Number 33 ... was a tall white guy with perfect coordination, which performed its work as "excellent." It might have been a superhero, because he did not save the lives of people and did not make the world better. At the same time, he had heroic moments, for all of New England believed in his invincibility. It is too often out of difficult situations. Unfortunately, you can not look at the career stats Byrd online NBA and find there statistics on how many times fans expected him to come out of a difficult situation, and he justified those expectations. Here's a story about his most memorable victory roll. Roll, which is not found in the basket.

After Bird won three titles MVP, he was at the peak of his career in the spring of '87, let alone driving an aging roster after three grueling rounds of the playoffs, despite a broken leg at McHale tucked ankle Parish and Ainge and Walton's injury and Scott Vedmana . But what were the top five of the seven players in a team. At the end of the fifth game of the Eastern Conference finals when Bird saved the season for us with his famous interception pass Ayzeyi, "Garden", literally mad, and it was the only time I can remember that the upper platform swayed and threatened to collapse on that every fan jumped in delight. This is the most amazing aspect of any sport, when you're hoping for a miracle in 4999 cases out of 5000 it did not happen, but there is still the same 5000th case. This was the moment interception Byrd. Through two games Larry buried the "Detroit" with a series of crazy shots, including an incredible shot from the left hand panel of five meters, which had to be seen to be believed. (I missed that game because it took place the day before the Connecticut my high school prom. My Uncle Bob took my place in the stands, I saw the amazing game and was shown several times during the broadcast on CBS. I could not even pull off a girlfriend after the ball . know how many times I wished I had that did not get up early the next morning and drove two and a half hours to Boston to see that game? 280975 times!)

By the time we believed in the fact that Byrd's impossible to stop. He continued to raise rates.

In the last thirty seconds of the fourth game-ending 87 'Celtics' tried to play a combination of Byrd, but James Worthy grabbed Larry's jersey to prevent him open. James then tried to cover opens, Danny Ainge, and the ball somehow still found at Larry in the corner.

Imagine the roar of fifteen thousand spectators.

Bird planted his feet and launched the "three-ruble note" while standing in front of the bench, "Lakers."

Imagine the outcry fifteen thousand spectators  "Triiiiiii" .

The ball enters the basket.

If at that time the game was stopped and declared that Byrd will be held on the Charles River water, like Jesus, we would have believed it. We stood, stamping their feet and shouting for joy for the entire time-out, not even the thought of admitting defeat after such a throw. "Lakers" played a combination of old tired "Give the ball to Karim and he will get a chance to penalties." Karim scored the first and missed the second, but the referee missed a foul by Michael Thompson, due to which McHale and Parrish ran into each other and knocked out in the selection. The ball is again at the "Lakers", which led to the famous "junior sky-hukou" from Magic, which would be blocked by McHale, do not play one  on a broken leg ! A timer just two seconds left, and the players, "Lakers" has triumphantly jumping around. But we had Larry. Every fan in the building knew what he will get the ball. Everyone knew that we still had a chance. So what happened? "Lakers" on Byrd's throw two at once, but he somehow managed to open in the center of the site (seriously -  how he was able to do it?). He ran to the sideline, he got a pass, turned and jumped right next to Pat Riley, on a nanosecond to be floating in the air and launched a three-pointer right in front of the bench, "Lakers." In this incredible moment, jumping up from his place on the podium, almost wet my pants, I was ready to argue for anything that will fly ball into the basket. I was prepared to argue its priceless collection of baseball cards. Your Favorite TV. On her virginity (again - failure to school graduation). I was willing to bet your life. Even the players, "Lakers" thought that the cast will be accurate. See record of the game and you will see the replacement "Lakers" Wes Matthews crouched on the floor for Byrd, screaming in terror, as if he will see the bloody murder in a horror movie. You should hear the fans emit a strange roar, which can be translated as  "Hell, we now witness the greatest shots in the history of basketball!" . Heck, you can even stop recording a moment before the ball will fall into the basket. It looks like he will fly there now. He was supposed to fly.

He was not rushed.

Twenty years later, I still see the parable of the shot, which flew straight into the basket, and at that moment I knew for sure that we have a chance, and I felt like Mike Tyson hit me when the ball stuck in the treacherous shackle ring. Byrd missed literally an inch, the length of the nail. In one of the many documentaries about James Worthy NBA admits that he still sometimes have nightmares about the cast.  And he won that final!
That's what I remember best. Not deafening murmur of "Garden", which was followed by a silence, and jubilant players, "Lakers", which realize  how wildly they were lucky and did not even shocked faces of the people in the stands around me (all standing, opening their mouths and stared at the ring ). No. What I remember the reaction Byrd. When the ball bounced off the bow of the ring, he froze for a second, until the players 'Lakers' celebrated around him, and stared at the ring. He could not believe what had happened, just as we are.

This goal  was to fly into the ring.

A second passed, and Byrd joined the lonely group of players and coaches leaving the site. When he went into the tunnel and was close to me and my father, he was all too embarrassed.(I can be noted on the record of the game, right before the interview Magic - I'm dressed in a blue polo shirt and look like Kirk Cameron. I have such an expression on his face, as if the doctor just found me a sexually transmitted disease). Fans also remained in their places, still shocked, not knowing how we get out of here, not believing that the "Celtics" just lost. If you watched "Saving Private Ryan" in a movie theater, and remember how everyone in the audience was paralyzed when the credits started, you'll realize what looked like "Garden" at that time. People could not move. We went through the seven stages of grief in two minutes, including my father, who collapsed in his chair as if it had just been killed. He even tried to get up, even when I said, "Dad, let's move out."

A few seconds passed. The father then finally looked at me.

- He  was supposed to fly into the ring - the father moaned. -  As he flew into the ring?

It's been over twenty-two years since ... And I still have no answer to this question.